Corporations Against Democracy

Highlights of Recent Accomplishments

• Elections now mostly inconsequential:
  • Citizens United vs. Federal Election Commission we corperations are now people! Yeah! Money wins! Peasants no longer get paid much attention thanks to us corporation citizens united. And now we corporations are recognized as the people we are. It's nice to be validated!
  • Dick Army's Freedom Works works to make a Tea Party army of Dicks'. Dick waves the shiny objects in front of those peasants and they go into the trance on cue.
  • Electronic voting machines that can bump off people with names kind of like felons if they might not vote the way we like. Ace in the hole: use Microsoft Windows operating system to make it much more plausible if we need the "bugs" excuse (if we get caught) to explain skewed tallies.
  • Military Commissions Act of 2006: any peasant who gets in the way can be branded a terrorist: "may be determined to be an unlawful enemy combatant by a Combatant Status Review Tribunal or another competent tribunal." This is kind of our silver bullet. We can use it as soon as our tribunal is competent.
• They have to buy what we want them to buy:
  • The US housing bubble and derivatives scheme by investment banks has helped people like Walmarts among us can more easily hire all those newly unemployed peasants at bargain rates thereby keeping prices so low that local competition goes out of business and so peasants have to buy from the Walmart type people. Way to go, Wally! Once Walmart starts renting rooms in the back for associate's new homes, it will be just like the great ol' robber baron days, where it's legal again for us to rob peasants. Cool!
  • Monsanto will sue the pants of any peasant that even thinks planting any other seed but Monsanto's. Most patents in the US are only good for 17 years, and then protection expires. But Montsanto has so much money to burn on laywers it can take a few patents, shuffle the deck every year to make combinations of the few and then combinations of the combinations year after year so that there's always a buttload of patents just 17 years away for expiration...even if there are not so many inventions.
  • Should any of those pesky peasants try to start a boycott, we've got the emergency Presidential order that every President has signed going back to the 1970's: The Antiboycott Law and the corresponding Office Compliance to enforce it. The State Department even tells some people that it has expired while peasants get fined thousands of dollars just for not knowing about the law if the Office of Compliance finds out. This insures market stability regardless of peasant opinion of us corporation people.
  • We're grabbing water rights around the world, including all across these freedom loving United States. And with the accompanying laws against collecting rain water, pretty soon every toilet flush will enrich us even more!
• Death Threats Against Michael Moore
• Many peasants are experiencing reduced intellectual capacity
  • Fox news continues to have viewers.

But Our Work Is Not Yet Done

• Occupy Wall Street Spreads Worldwide: We tried dismissing them as hippie scum, poorly educated youth, disgruntled unemployed, goaless and clueless, thieves, girlie men, angry women, pot smokers, old fogies, has beens, losers, intellectually elite,...well we've mostly included 99% of the population at this point...oops.
• We need 100% 24-7 domination of all peasants.